making healthy changes
I went to the doctor last Friday, after weeks, or actually I think it’s been months, of feeling like I was wading through Jello. I wasn’t sure if it was my depression getting worse, or something physical. I wasn’t sad, per se, or weepy. I just had no enthusiasm for anything, found it hard to get up in the morning, felt sleepy throughout the day, and wanted nothing more than to lie on the couch most of the time. Fun things to do outside the house just seemed like to much trouble.
My doctor upped my Zoloft, took some blood, and says I am probably deficient in vitamin D. He is waiting on the lab results to be sure, but I will probably start taking a prescription vitamin D supplement. I am the third person I know to receive this diagnosis; apparently it’s a pretty common condition that is just lately getting a lot of attention. If you’re feeling exhausted, depressed, or achy, you might want to get your vitamin D checked. Meanwhile, I’m taking calcium with D twice a day.
[edited to add this paragraph, which, on my diet tangent, I forgot to mention.] Also, my doctor “prescribed” outside activity every day, 10-15 minutes of sunlight (without sunscreen) three times a week, and setting “driving goals” for myself to learn to drive sooner, which will give me more freedom and make life vastly easier.
I have also started Weight Watchers, because everyone I know who’s tried it has had success. It’s a healthy eating plan, nothing gimmicky, and (unless you rely mostly on prepackaged Weight Watchers meals) it teaches you how to eat right. I’m not going to meetings or even joining the online program, because I don’t want to spend the money and I don’t really see a need. My sister gave me a points slider and an introductory booklet, and I am doing it myself. Two days so far and it’s going well. I haven’t felt deprived. I’ve been able to figure out my points pretty easily. So hopefully I will stick with it and lose some weight.
I’m really ambivalent about being on a diet. I’ve been anti-diet for so long. I hate fat-phobia, and I hate the way misogyny and fat-phobia collide in American society to create some sort of national eating disorder wherein dieting is seen as the natural, normal state for women to be in. I have always hated when people (especially women) talk about fat or weight loss in front of my kids (especially my daughters). It is vitally important to me that my children grow up with positive body images and healthy relationships to food. But the fact remains that I don’t feel good, I don’t like the way I look, my clothes don’t fit, and (most importantly) my risk of diabetes is higher at my current weight. I need to lose about ten to fifteen pounds.
I’ve also started to exercise. I’m back on the One Hundred Pushups program, and yesterday I finally, finally went out for a bike ride. It was wonderful. Exhilarating. I felt like a kid again. I felt free. And then I got lost, and wondered around two developments for about an hour as my legs turned to jelly, my heart pounded, and I dripped with sweat. Finally I found a friend’s house and stopped in for a visit. I was given some nice cold water and a ride home. It was definitely too much of a workout for a beginner. But I still can’t wait to get back on my bike.
June 17th, 2009 at 9:47 am
yay outside! yay bikes! exhaustion does a body good, and the sunlight will help your vitamin D. i make an effort to go outside and look through my eyelids at the sun every morning - makes me feel recharged and refreshed. i am much like a plant. anyway, just keep on keepin’ on! you can do it! =]